Professor Lock, on colonization, Isaac, and carports.

In her thick british accent:

"Imagine being in your home and all the sudden these men are in there with rifles. They tell you 'well, you've got to go because we have rifles and you don't.' And then as you're gathering your things, 'Hold on, hold on. We're not totally heartless; we'll let you live under the carport.'

"Nobody asked Isaac what he thought of all this. I'm sure he wasn't too pleased about his father standing over him ready to stick him. But then God says 'Alright alright everybody just calm down a minute. Abraham, put that knife down, it's all well and good old boy.' And Isaac lived to see another day."

Life Update

I just had the hardest run of my life. And it was just one mile

it's THAT hot outside.

"I say never be complete"

I don't even have anything to say, really.

All I know is that I am eating a rice krispy treat, and it makes me happy. And when I get happy, I want to share it with you. Did I mention that I have a white mocha WITH whip cream?? It's that kind of a day.

I also have a free movie rental in my car. So ha ha.

Notice, by any chance, that I am once again at Starbucks? We have no internet and no cable in the apartment yet, despite our going back and forth with a man named Kermit, nothing's been installed. Hopefully soon he will install our internet, basic cable, and free, yes FREE landline.

When Kelsea (the awesome new roommie) declined, he responded so"

"Are you not two young girls alone in an apartment complex together?"

And would not it be a bad thing if your call got dropped when calling 911 because a man is in your house?"

See you'd probably have better luck getting a call out from Dante's seventh circle rather than our apartment building.

Needless to say, we are getting the landline.

When the lady at Starbucks brought me my rice krispy treat, she asked if i'd be needing a fork. I said a "no" that really said "heck no woman, I'm eating this one with my fingers because it's that kind of a day." And no, I don't care that the man across from me is looking at me like I'm five. I feel five. Why should I not be five?!

Yesterday in class my creative writing prof looked at me and boldly asked "Why do you write?"

...why do i write? My brain immediately racked itself with answers typical of a writer.

I don't write! I attempt and fail and I'll never write anything with integrity or worth publishing.!! And I'm quitting right now!

Of course I didn't say any of those things. He cleverly interjected, and told me to write it down somewhere ;)

This is the same man that, earlier in the day when I told him I couldn't come up with a story idea, looked at me, turned on his heel and walking away said "then have a drink." and disappeared down the stairs. What a badass.

I want to play the trumpet, but I never want to look like Louis Armstrong. Maybe that's why there are no great woman trumpet players.

I have a very good friend who made a very hard choice today. I hope she knows I'm proud of her. What courage.

Did you know that in a study done by some big school on criminology, 80% of people confessed to doing a crime they didn't do when a false witness was involved? And without the witness, and only a false accusation, 25% confessed to something they DIDNT do?

Do you know what I think? We are a society of non-confrontation. We drown our sentences in like and "parenthetical you knows." Even our facebooks, the greatest social network in the world gives you the options of accepting friend requests by clicking "yes" or "not now." We can't even say no in private!

It's like everybody's toes are twelve sizes too big and we are trying REALLY really hard not to step on them. Yuck, I am so sick of wishy washy twenty year olds with no passion for anything but themselves.

Heck I think I'd respect an idiot who would argue to death the necessity of lipstick cases to society than a person of average intelligence who just sort of like, stood for, mehhh?

When did we stop caring? When we were handed everything?

Take things away from a man and then he'll develop an opinion on them.

I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

But I can't, I'n not legally allowed to. That's called stealing. So instead, I've got a free movie rental, an empty apartment, and a month to kill.

Open Up Your Throat

Starbucks is about to blow away. The umbrellas sort of look like seizing jellyfish.

What's even cooler- the sky is a real dull white, so you can't see the lightening, but it still flashes, so that it's more of a blink. Like the sky is a dying bulb, about to go out.

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There is a really quiet Indian couple that lives above us. I wish their living habits were as silent as their social habits. My goodness, how can such a tiny couple make so much noise?? They do have the cutest little baby with a full head of black hair, eyes the size of his face, and a little gold bracelet. ... When am I going to learn that bracelet doesn't have an O in it?? Probably never.

My room has as corner. With a deep antique chair, and a tall lamp, and a picture of Somalian children dancing in one of those mini dust tornados.

I also have a beetle, or had a beetle before my killer instincts kicked in and I squished him into oblivion. Thats what it gets for being about the size of my thumb and landing on my back at 3 am in the morning. He met his end somewhere in the middle of my box-spring. When i ripped back all the covers and he was nowhere to be found, I lifted my mattress and there he was. A mad dash for the tissue and three, count them, THREE squishes later, he was dead.

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In the bathroom here they have a sticker that teaches employees how to wash hands.

1. wet 2. soap 3. wash 4.rinse 5. dry 6. turn off water.

I wonder what einstein's job it was to come up with that equation.

"Whats that Bill? We've got step six figured? It's so simple! Call my wife back and tell her I will be home for dinner."

I wonder what he' s doing right now. Probably reinventing hop scotch.

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Today I took William Shatner to Bawcomville to get my broken off dipstick out of its holder. Watching four big Bubbas try to pull that thing out of there was hysterical. They all thought they had the tool that would do it. A screw, pliers, a magnet, barber scissors. Finally the biggest one of the group (we are talking 6'5 and at LEAST 270) explained to the us that it was about finesse, not power. A gentle jiggle later we had it out. They charged me a low 20 bucks and all tipped their hate, "ma'am."

Ever realize that it REALLY isn't going to stop raining, and you've just missed the only opening where it was a drizzle instead of a downpour to run to your car? I have.

Did you know that people who have events to look forward to are generally happier in life?

I have a plane ticket:) courtesy of an early Christmas present from mamma.

I'm supposed to be reading The Country Wife, but stopped because I was literally so disgusted with how the men were talking about women, and all the infidelity. I don't care if it was written in the 18th century. When attitudes about fidelity and integrity are haven't really changed much, its nauseating to read.

It's so good to have a good man. Rephrasing. So great to have a really, realllly great man.

It's drizzling again, and I won't be fooled twice.

Out!

Bouquets of sharpened pencils

Today was the first real day of school.

Teachers are as follows:

Dr. Brown: when I walked into class three minutes late, it sounded like I was walking into a party.

Dr. Adams: Thinks we are kindergartners. Read every word of the syllabus, never in the same tone once.

Dr. Lock: From England. Says ,after all after everything. Listening to her is like listening to a comedian philosophize. I have a feeling she's one of those prophesors who is going to sneak her way into my favorites. The kind that you don't realize you're in love with until about half way through the semester.

Next is Dr. Giles: Her I had last year. She teaches Modern Lit, graduated with a phd from Cambridge, and is pretty much who i want to be when I grow up.

Only downside to all this, I go to school on Tuesdays frmo 9 am till 8 pm

But for now thats ok, bc Im still giddy about bouquets of sharpened pencils.

Collette:1 Meningitis: 0

By 6 am the fluid (I was unawares of) in my brain was a wee too much to bare.

Hours later: BAM. In the ER with viral meningitis!! And believe me, nothing makes laying on a gurney with a migraine better than a girl next door resisting to get her stomach pumped, and the man next door to her screaming that everyone was out to get him.

An IV of some wonder drug later and it was smooth sailing after that.

Three days there.

Armed with mini cereal boxes, a full day of the Kardashians, and a good mama, I somehow survived ;)

Visits from Andrew involved digging into the nurse supplies and performing his own operations using rubber gloves, safety goggles and the creepiest verse I've ever heard.

Now I'm at home, PERFECTLY mended...and still on house arrest.

This may prove to be more boring than the hospital, at least there they had pudding.

Canvas on Monday night

"It takes time to extract joy from life."