Monday, October 29, 2012

"16 Ways I Blew My Marriage"

I once read an article on the top five causes of divorce, determined by the polling of split couples. While it is interesting to see scientific evidence, it was mostly predictable.
1. Money
2. Bringing up the past
3. Not reinforcing good qualities, and so on, and so forth...

While it may not be quite as scientific, I enjoyed the advice of one man, a bit comical, sad, and very informative. While his "If I could's" may seem naively hopeful, I find that nativity a bit refreshing.
So here it is, because "meat in a can is never awesome."

http://www.danoah.com/2012/10/16-ways-i-blew-my-marriage.html

Friday, October 26, 2012

Who Dat


“WHO DAT!” A deep soulful voice booms at me across the parking lot.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, “ I reply.

I am not a fair-weather fan. My reply is not unenthused. You see, a month ago my mother came to visit me in Augusta. It was also the first weekend of NFL football. She arrived in town, and after lots of shenanigans we ended up back at my apartment complex. We pulled little Will Shat into a spot right in front of my apartment, and right across from the main office. As we began unloading mom’s luggage from the trunk, she notices a truck parked directly behind us. It has an Atlanta Falcons plate on the front, and the owner sits in the drivers seat with a hat to match.
Suddenly my mother begins to scream. “WHO DAT! HEY, WHO DAT!!!!” wildly motioning to the Louisiana license plate on my car and screaming “DIRTY BIRDS!” her little finger pointed at him with a smile on her face. He, in turn, laughed and nods his head playful, understanding the divisional rivalry.

Little did mom know that that was my apartment maintenance man. I see him just about everywhere I go at my complex, and for the first four games in a row he let me have it. “Who Dat!!” he would scream when a loss was still fresh in my mind, his Falcons hat ever glued to his head. “Who Dat baby!!!” One day I even yelled back that my mother was the original instigator, not me. It did nothing.
Today as I was walking back from the main office he was passing in a golf cart. “How you doin?” He asked me cheerfully. He is always cheerful.
“I’m good now!” I smiled, gloating in our Colston centered win on Sunday.
“You good now?” he asked happily confused. “Oh! Oh she good now! Hey even a blind dog finds a bone every once in a while.” He zoomed past me on his cart before I could reply. I guess this will last all season. 

(saved from last week)

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Debate

After the debate last night, Andrew and I were chatting about politics, and he brought up one man I had never heard of (awful as that it.) His name was Gary Johnson...I suppose *is* Gary Johnson, you don't die when you loose the nominee...anyway, he made a comment during a debate that I thought I'd share as it tickled me. After all the comments last night about building bridges and roads, I thought I'd share

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=sPYOvOcBgOg

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The Dream

Today, dear friends, I lived the dream.
It started very lazily, with me not getting up til 10, making oatmeal and coffee, and google chatting with Andrew. It was B-E-A-U-TIFUL outside; sunny and breezy, ultimate skirt weather. I sadly put on my stuffy business suit and headed in for work. Even from my car (who still remains nameless) to the door, I was thinking how nice today was and how I didn't want to stand in a building until 9 at night. I walked into work, gave May-May a hug. (She is my absolute favorite. Someday I may even write a whole post about her.) Both of my managers looked at me and said "Go home."
"What?"
"Go home, we've been trying to call you. We signed you up for training on Thursday (my off day) so you have to go home, or you'll be over hours."
I.LIVED.THE.DREAM. I walked into work and they said I could go right on back home and put on a skirt.
Now I'm sitting at Starbucks, eating a melted Rice Krispy treat like a five year old and loving life. Not to mention, I will now get to see the presidential debate!!! I completely missed the last one, and am hoping this one is a doozy as well.
I hope your day was filled with skirt weather.
Good afternoon good evening and good night.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Thou mayest


Because good things come in small packets of tea...and soggy tissues.
I have a cold. Or something of the sort. It’s got me stumped, because my head is stuffed to the max, but my body doesn’t hurt and there is only a slight bit of fuzzy-headedness involved. I don’t feel awful, but cannot seem to make myself move any faster than the tortoise.  (Not the one that won the race, the 98-year-old one with bad arthritis and bursitis and any other itis you might like.)

Thank goodness I was off today, when what I’m hoping is the brunt of it hit. In all honesty, I know where it started. Thursday Andrew told me he was stuffed up and sniffling. What ensued was a three-day road trip. 9 pm-9 am to Baton Rouge, followed by a Friday of driving through the hell that is Baton Rouge traffic, followed by a Saturday of 11 am-11 pm of driving back. Sunday morning, BOOM, sickness has hit.

However, today was wonderful. I spent the day catching up with Kelsea; how work is going, how Sam, her boyfriend, wants to buy a house from 1909, how she’s cheating on Roxanne (her car) with a Ford rental.
After that, I read Aunt Lisa’s blog for about an hour. Aunt Lisa, if you’re reading this, DON’T stop writing!!! I enjoyed every second of it, and so many lines and phrases shook me to the bone.

Later, back in my little apartment, I forced down a Vitamin C packet Andrew insisted I eat like candy. Then my eyes landed on it. A little cream colored box sitting on top of my fridge, antique black font on the front. Andrew’s Vanilla Caramel tea, I hadn’t noticed it. You see, he is in the process of moving into a house with a friend, and with all of his belongings in storage, I scored on all the perishables. So here I am, drinking my first cup of team I’ve ever made for myself. But that’s not the reason I love this tea, with its lovely box and lovely font. I love this tea because the last time I took real note of it was in Maryland. It was my first visit to see Andy. I remember standing in the drafty little room, thinking it looked nothing like I had pictured if for the last four months. Against the wall right by the door was a mini fridge, its only contents were frozen Nutty Bars. But on top of the fridge sat the tea. “What a funny guy,” I remember thinking, absolutely unable to ever pin him to any kind of category (except devastatingly handsome…there, that should ring in the embarrassment ;)

What is it that we find about tea bags so beautiful? We paint them for pete’s sake. The little dangling tab, the motion of the repeated douse. I don’t know why but I love it. 

Thoughts as of late:
.           Why doesn’t “its” possessive have its own apostrophe? It makes no sense to me. The thought brings me back to Maddie’s conclusion about “amen’t.”
.    I have a new car. She was the reason for the crash course trip to the BR. I love her dearly. However, today I got word that after his long drive from Augusta to BR, William Shatner died on the interstate, completely shut down. I have a feeling it’s the result of broken heartedness, like those dogs in Where the Red Fern Grows.
.         I have no more toilet paper or paper towels, a relentless stuffy nose, and a now very inconvenient urge to tinkle.
.     I am in love with East of Eden. Listen to this:
Lee smiled. “My Father said she was a strong woman, and I believe a strong woman may be stronger than a man, particularly if she has love in her heart. I guess a loving woman is almost indestructible.”
Adam made a wry grimace.
Lee said, “You’ll see one day, you’ll see.”
-Lee, on his mother.

The next excerpt is from a discussion on God’s punishing Cain. Lee notices that there are two version of the story, the King James version and the American Standard version. King James quotes that God tells Cain “thou shalt rule over sin,” while American Standard tells Cain “Do thou rule over sin.” Lee traces back to the original Hebrew word which translates, thou mayest.
“And I feel that I am a man. And I feel that a man is a very important thing-maybe more important that a star. This is not theology. I have no bent towards god. But I have a new love for that glittering instrument, the human soul. It is a lovely and unique thing in the universe. It is always attacked and never destroyed-because ‘Thou mayest.’ "




Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Writers Block

"The blank white page. El Diablo Blanco. El Pollo Loco. Whatever you choose to call it, staring into the abyss in search of an idea can be terrifying. But ask yourself this; was Picasso intimidated by the blank canvas? Was Mozart intimidated by the blank sheet music? Was Edison intimidated by the blank lightbulb? If you’re still blocked up, ask yourself more questions, like; Why did I quit my job at TJ Maxx to write full-time? Can/should I eat this entire box of Apple Jacks? Is The Price is Right on at 10 or 11?"
-Timothy McSweeney